The Fragile Fall by Love Kristy

Author:Love, Kristy [Love, Kristy]
Language: eng
Format: epub, mobi
Tags: Fiction General
Publisher: Kristy Love
Published: 2014-08-06T07:00:00+00:00

My legs bounced at an insanely fast rate and I was picking open a scab on my arm from one of the older cuts. My anxiety had been too high to handle since my last session, so I was meeting with Dr. Thomas as soon as she came in. I was scared of what I’d do if this continued.

Dr. Thomas swept into the room and set down her things. She took one look at me and immediately sat down, shrugging out of her coat and throwing it on her desk as she moved. “Talk to me, Will. Tell me what has you so distressed.”

“I’m not a murderer.”

“No, you aren’t.”

“But I still caused my parents’ death.”

“You aren’t guilty, Will. It was an accident.”

“It was an accident,” I said, then nodded. I truly believed that now, but for some reason, that left me uneasy. I had been clinging so heavily to my guilt that I felt listless without it.

“Good, I’m glad you recognize that. What else is upsetting you?”

“I really want to cut.”

“Have you been using the ice?”

“I went through an entire ice bucket last night. I couldn’t even feel my arms anymore so I moved onto my legs and it isn’t working!” I shoved my hands through my hair and yanked on it. The pain from that helped, so I kept pulling.

“Will,” she said, her stern voice causing me to pause. “Stop.” She reached slowly over and untangled my hands from my hair. When she was sure I was okay, she went over to her desk and got a rubber band, then walked back over and handed it to me. “Try this. This might help more than the ice.”

I slipped the rubber band around my wrist and snapped it. The bite from it caused my heart to slow a little.

“That isn’t going to be a permanent solution, but we need to help you deal with the anxiety. You’re still very new into this process, so we have to find ways for you to deal with the urge to cut. Cutting has become your coping mechanism and right now, you are operating without that. Your anxiety will be heightened and you will feel more out of control until we can work more on this.”

I nodded as I snapped the rubber band again.

“You aren’t alone, Will. You aren’t in this alone. You have me to help you and guide you. Together, we will help you.”

Her words calmed me in ways the rubber band couldn’t.

I wasn’t alone.

I wasn’t alone.

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